S02E07 - Adult Content

No: 15  |   Season: 2   Episode: 7  |   Air Date: 24-May-15  

A fucking car whose doors open like this... not like this... not like this.
A fucking car whose doors open like this... not like this... not like this.

Summary

After the Pied Piper guys accuse Endframe of stealing their compression algorithm, EndFrame responds by bragging they will beat Pied Piper because they have a finished platform, a sales team and paying customers. After their visit with EndFrame, Gilfoyle reveals that he has stolen the details at a service contract between EndFrame and porn company Intersite. Richard meets with the CEO of Intersite and convinces her to consider Pied Piper for the contract. Meanwhile, Gavin Belson is called before the Hooli board to explain the failure of Nucleus, and he promises them something ground-breaking. Later, he begs Big Head and his Hooli XYZ team to come up with something new and radical. However, Gavin soon learns they are incapable of fulfilling his request. Russ Hanneman is despondent, as his accountant has told him he is no longer a billionaire. Richard discovers that Russ has attempted to setup a merger between Pied Piper and Endframe, in a quick coup to regain his billionaire status.

Director and Writers

Director: Alec Berg
Written by: Amy Aniobi

Quotes

Richard: Why would you assume that he's the CEO?
Receptionist: Well, he's... no reason.

Dinesh: Look who just right-swiped me on Tinder. Karen. She's cute.
Gilfoyle: Says here that she's looking for a man on the go. You don't "go" anywhere.

Richard: Well, you're stealing it all wrong. I mean, this is how you're gonna build the code book? Honestly? This is bush-league. And look at all these redundancies.

Gavin: The point being what those in dying business sectors call failure, we, in tech, know to be pre-greatness.

Gavin: If there's any greatness in any of you at all, now is the time to access it. Please don't disappoint me. Please, please, please don't disappoint me.
(Walks away)
Big Head: Maybe start after lunch?

Russ: I'm out of the Three Comma Club. Functionally, I'm just like you. Jesus, fuck, that's depressing.

Russ: "Forbes" has taken me off their billionaire's list. Instead, they'll probably put me on their close-but-no-cigar list, which is ironic because I smoke a fuck ton of cigars. Why the fuck do I buy so many cigars? I remember the second I became a billionaire. I was ass-naked sitting right there (points at the couch where Erlich and Richard are sitting), just clicking and refreshing, clicking and refreshing, watching my stock rise. And when it happened, I popped a rod so fast, I went blind for a full minute. Nutted all over those cushions. (Richard moves the cushion he is sitting on aside)

Russ: I had to sell my McLaren.
Erlich: Yeah, but there's a Maserati in the driveway.
Russ: Who gives a fuck? That has doors that open like this. Not like this. Or like this. So it's all fucked.

Gilfoyle: What if we didn't do that? What if, instead, we got our own client like EndFrame has, a porn company or something?
Richard: That's not really how it works, Gilfoyle. You can't just go get a client.
Gilfoyle: Why not?
Monica: 'Cause it's not that easy.
Gilfoyle: Why not?
Monica: 'Cause EndFrame worked that Intersite deal for months, kicking every detail of the contract and SLA back and forth, promising tons of custom features. And you can't just make that stuff up.
Gilfoyle: What if I didn't have to make it up? What if I had every detail of their deal on my computer right in front of me?
Jared: I'm sorry, um Are you just asking what if or do you actually have this information?
Richard: Gilfoyle, please don't tell me that you hacked into EndFrame's system.
Gilfoyle: Okay. I won't tell you that.
Richard: W-Well, did you hack into it or not?
Gilfoyle: My feeling is if you're the CEO of a company and you're dumb enough to leave your login info on a Post-it note on your desk, while the people that you fucking ripped off are physically in your office, it's not a hack. It's barely social engineering. It's more like natural selection.
Dinesh: Fucking ninja.

Gilfoyle: You wanted to do something, Richard. This is something. It's time to walk the left-hand path, Richard.

Gilfoyle: Why does it say "sent from my iPhone" at the bottom? You just sent this from your computer.
Dinesh: It's so that I seem like I'm an out-and-about kind of person. I put that in the signature and then in the body, I'll write fun stuff, like, "I'm at the opening of a secret restaurant." Or, "I'm watching 'Jaws' at the pool of an old hotel." You know, keep it fun, vague, mysterious.
Gilfoyle: It is a mystery why you think you'll ever see a woman naked.

Erlich: Who painted that disappointment?
Dinesh: Jaden, age five. I got it from his Montessori school website. He's not online, he's never gonna find out.
Erlich: What?
Dinesh: Crimes against children Really, so easy to get away with.

Erlich: Just maintain eye contact, light some scented candles and throw in some Sade. The early stuff, though, before her arrangements got too baroque.

Gilfoyle: Outed by Wi-Fi.

Big Head: By wearing this standard Hooli ear-bud headphone, modified with a small piezoelectric sensor, the user can control their Hooli phone solely with their neural impulses. Point, click, drag, even type all using only brainwaves. Think it and it happens.
Gavin: Holy shit! Seriously? Seriously. This is great. Fuck, yes, team! So, uh, what's our, um, timeline here? I mean, when do we start testing this? How long before we can integrate this into Nucleus?
Big Head: Not long. It'll probably happen in our lifetime. We just have to figure out how to make it work.

Big Head: Truth be told, we kind of put all our eggs into this basket, but we do have the kick-ass potato cannon, though. Although, actually, this one is broken. We tried to put a Mr. Potato Head in it, and it did not like that.

Music

"Stretch Your Face" by Tobacco (Opening title music)

"Butterfly" by Crazy Town (Plays in Russ Hanneman's car when he drives away from the restaurant. )

"Rhythmeen" by ZZ Top (End-credits music.)

Notes and Trivia

When the guys confront Dinesh about the other jobs he was looking into one of the companies mentioned in Yoyodyne. 'Yoyodyne' is a catch all name in the sci-fi fantasy world for tech companies, being used in movies like 'The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai' and TV shows like 'Angel' and 'Star Trek'.

Some of the names of the porn sites printed onto tent cards and propped up in front of normal looking middle-aged people at the "Adult 2.0" convention were: "Non-Consensual Santa", "Porn Hospice", "Poop on My Wife", "Fingered Teen", "My Dirty Vagina", "Blackmailed into Gay" and "Let's try Fisting".

Goofs

Gavin Belson mistakenly attributes the development and failure of the Apple Newton to Steve Jobs. The Newton was developed after Jobs had left Apple and its failure was a contributing factor to his return to the company.

Cast

StarringThomas MiddleditchRichard Hendricks
StarringT.J. MillerErlich Bachman
StarringJosh BrenerNelson 'Big Head' Bighetti
StarringMartin StarrBertram Gilfoyle
StarringKumail NanjianiDinesh Chugtai
StarringAmanda CrewMonica
StarringZach WoodsDonald 'Jared' Dunn
StarringMatt RossGavin Belson
StarringSuzanne CryerLaurie Bream (credit only)
StarringJimmy O. YangJian Yang (credit only)
Guest StarringBen FeldmanRon LaFlamme
Guest StarringIan AldaMarc
Guest StarringChris DiamantopoulosRuss Hanneman
Guest StarringJ.J. NolanKaren (as JJ Nolan)
Guest StarringRomy RosemontMolly Kendall
Guest StarringAlice WetterlundCarla Walton
Co-StarringJoshua ChangSeth
Co-StarringAnna KhajaRachel
Co-StarringDavid LewisonBusiness Manager
Co-StarringAmber PlasterEndFrame Receptionist
Co-StarringMaverick ThompsonAspen
Co-StarringPing WuHenry