S04E06 - Customer Service

No: 34  |   Season: 4   Episode: 6  |   Air Date: 28-May-17  

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I'll go balls deep on your inbox.

Summary

On the hunt for financial support, Richard looks outside the tech bubble, and crosses paths with a contentious figure from Pied Piper's past. Erlich reaches out to Monica and Laurie in search of a new endeavor. A launch gone wrong finds Dinesh and Gilfoyle at war as Jared tries to keep the peace.

Director and Writers

Director: Clay Tarver
Written by: Graham Wagner, Shawn Boxe

Quotes

Jared: It's good to face your fears. I was scared of intruders till I had one of those in my room, and then I realized, you know, if they're gonna kill me, they're gonna kill me. 'Cause he kept... whispering that.

Russ: Fuck you, Richard Hendricks. Fuck you right in your little asshole, and not in the beautiful way, like Grandpa and Pedro.

Richard: The point is, if you don't draw the line in the sand when some guy pisses in your car, where do you, you know?
Erlich: Did someone piss in someone's car?
Richard: Not literally, no. It's a, uh, it's a figure of speech, an old one.
Erlich: Ah, an adage.

Richard: Anyway, uh, Jared, let's get a deck together on this.
Jared: Aye, aye, Captain.

Erlich: Let's hit the road. We're gonna piss in everyone's car. Am I using that right?

Erlich: Perhaps we need a new angle. I'll fake a seizure.
Richard: What?

Erlich: Is it a slight Idaho accent, Liz?
Liz: Oh. It's Montana, actually.
Erlich: Even better. The big blue sky state.

Richard: We're trying to make a business deal, not get you laid.
Erlich: I'm not trying to get laid, Richard. Clearly, she has a lot of pent-up sexual energy, likely from working in this worm farm, so that's the angle I'm taking since I'm not allowed to have a seizure.

Richard: Look, can you just please, for once, keep your dick out of the equation?
Erlich: I really wish I could, but my dick is the abacus upon which this equation will be...

Dan: You fucked my wife.
Erlich: I fucked your wives. Plural. Both of them.
Richard: Erlich, the customer is always right, so let's just leave it at "wife," singular, and be done with it.

Erlich: I love the smell of fresh spackle and hope.

Erlich: I wanted to offer my services as an associate. And I will not phone it in. I'll be the first one here at 10:30 a.m. and the last one to leave a smidge after 4:00. I'll, of course, need an office, an attractive personal assistant, paternity leave, if that goes well, and an umbrella insurance policy if that does not go well.

Gilfoyle: I'm just looking at your very embarrassing personal information.
Dinesh: Fuck you. If you look at my shit, I'm gonna look at your shit.
Jared: All right, whoa, whoa. Easy now.
Gilfoyle: I'll go balls deep on your inbox.
Dinesh: If you've taken one fucking selfie, I will find it.

Keenan: Hey, man. I don't know who you think you are, but you're not supposed to be at this table.
Erlich: I don't know who you think you are, but men aren't supposed to grow tits, and yet there they are, atop your little paunch.

Richard: I can't believe I jeopardized the entire company with my dick.
Jared: Hey, hey. We can get through this.
Richard: Yeah.
Jared: All right. First, I need some details. Are you in love?

Jared: Now, you need to break this thing off clean and clear, so you just walk into that office and... and you look her in the eyes, and you say... "Listen, baby... you're getting hitched, and... and I... was born to roam."

Jared: Oh, I am so glad this is over. I felt like Gibraltar in World War II, where it was both crucial and inert.

Dinesh: I know all my embarrassing shit is on your phone and if you look at it, you will mock me endlessly and without mercy. But what's also true is that you already mock me endlessly and without mercy, so I have nothing to lose and, potentially, a huge amount to gain.

Richard: It was such a bad thing to have done.
Liz: The worst sex I think I've ever had... by far.
Richard: Oh, s... it... so it was bad for you... too?
Liz: Yeah, I mean, it was just all elbows. I mean, how many times did our teeth clink?
Richard: Uh, too many. Mm-mm. Too many. Too many.
Liz: You know? And you move your head a lot.
Richard: Well... passion...
Liz: None. Right? I know. Like right out of the gate. When I took my top off, and you actually said the word "gulp"?
Richard: I said it?
Liz: Yes. Yeah.
Richard: Out loud? Okay. Mm-hmm. Well, mistake on my part.

Richard: I was born to roam, anyways... so.

Music

"Stretch Your Face" by Tobacco (Opening title music)

"I Alone" by Live (Playing in Russ Hanneman's car)

"You Came To Party" by Too $hort x Meter Mobb (End credits music)

Notes and Trivia

Although Josh Brener (Nelson 'Big Head' Bighetti), Stephen Tobolowsky (Jack Barker) and Matt Ross (Gavin Belson) are credited for this episode they did not appear. Additionally, Jimmy O. Yang (Jian Yang) appears in the episode, but he has no lines.

Goofs

When Erlich is sitting at the table in the VC meeting, the stack of hats are neatly arranged, then in one shot one of the hats is unstacked, only to be shown neatly back in the stack on the next shot.

Locations

None

Cast

StarringThomas MiddleditchRichard Hendricks
StarringT.J. MillerErlich Bachman
StarringJosh BrenerNelson 'Big Head' Bighetti
StarringMartin StarrBertram Gilfoyle
StarringKumail NanjianiDinesh Chugtai
StarringAmanda CrewMonica Hall
StarringZach WoodsJared Dunn
StarringMatt RossGavin Belson
StarringSuzanne CryerLaurie Bream
StarringJimmy O. YangJian Yang
StarringStephen TobolowskyJack Barker
StarringChris DiamantopoulosRuss Hanneman
Guest StarringJake BroderDan Melcher
Guest StarringLeisha HaileyLiz
Guest StarringHaley Joel OsmentKeenan Feldspar
Co-StarringSeril JamesJeff
Co-StarringAmir M. KorangyCEO
Co-StarringRobert Michael LeeDupondi Consulting Executive
Co-StarringJeff MarlowChristoff
Co-StarringArtie O'DalyVC
Co-StarringCarrie ReevesDupondi Consulting Executive
Co-StarringNate ShelkeyExecutive