S05E06 - Artificial Emotional Intelligence

No: 44  |  Season: 5   Episode: 6  |  Air Date: 29-Apr-2018  |  Ratings: 1.02


Richard decides to help when Laurie gets in a jam, but his lack of emotional discipline threatens to backfire on Pied Piper; Gavin tries to make a deal with a stubborn partner; Dinesh relishes a rare win; Jared bonds with a surprising figure.

Director and Writers

Director: Matt Ross
Written by: Anthony King


Richard: Hey, Laurie. I know you're "busy" being a "CEO," but we have to have a serious conversation about...
(puking sounds)
Laurie: Richard?
Richard: Yes?
Laurie: I have vomited into my shirt.

Yao: Things are changing in China now, Gavin. There are many reforms. As you see, we provide a series of Tai Chi and movement classes, free for all employees, as well as free medical benefits. Ah, our nutrition center. In addition to all the good food we serve in our main cafeteria. Also free of charge. This concludes our tour. Any questions?
Gavin: Just one. What the fuck?
Yao: Sorry?
Gavin: If I wanted to see nap pods and climbing walls, I would've stayed home, or gone to fucking Denmark. All I wanna see is people working as hard as they possibly can. That's why we come to China.

Yao: Gavin. You know our shameful history of worker suicides. Since the renovation, not a single one.
Gavin: Not even one? Okay. But there's gotta be like a middle ground here.
Yao: Ah, a happy surprise. The children from our daycare center have prepared a traditional song just for you.
(The children begin to sing)
Gavin: That's wonderful. Yao, I need you to give me 30% more output. I don't care how you do it. Just a thought, those kids don't look that busy.

Dinesh: That was an out-of-body experience. It was like God was coding through me. Time stood still.
Gilfoyle: Not for the rest of us it didn't.
Dinesh: Laugh it up, Gilf. I hear you making your little jokes at my expense, turning all the engineers against me. But the second these results go up, they're all going to see the only thing that matters... who made less errors.
Gilfoyle: You mean who made "fewer" errors?
Dinesh: Oh, you think you're so clever. You know who else thought it was clever? The hare. Right before it was defeated by the tortoise. I'm the fucking tortoise, Gilfoyle. I'm the fucking tortoise!
Gilfoyle: Keep saying that.

Jared: Richard, you have an enormous heart. And I don't mean in the same way my deceased friend Gloria did, which the doctors should have really caught because her knuckles were gargantuan.

Jared: Richard, it is important to develop emotional self-discipline for situations like this.
Richard: Mm-hmm.
Jared: Sometimes you have to numb yourself. If you wanna work the corner, you can't fall in love every time you turn a trick. That's why you do the oxy.

Holden: Laurie Bream said that she received the compute credits and to say thank you.
Richard: You see? Business and compassion are not mutually exclusive. In fact, sometimes going out of your way to help a fellow colleague can actually put you further ahead in business. Let that be a lesson to you, young Holden.
Holden: I'm 30. And, uh, the CEO of a company called the Gigglybots called. He wants to know how to redeem the compute credits he just bought from Laurie Bream.
Richard: What?

Laurie: Ariel was apprehended this morning shoplifting machine oil from an auto parts store in Turlock.

Laurie: Immediately after your departure I consumed two egg whites and a green bean and regained my composure.

Gavin: (referring to Jian-Yang) Holy shit! Holy fucking shit! That brilliant little idiot. He found a way around the patent.

Dinesh: (riffing) I hope that book you're reading is for work. Oh, absolutely... But if you wanna read for fun, you should read Gilfoyle's favorite author, George "Error" Martin. Hear that? We're all making jokes at your expense.
Gilfoyle: Is that what's happening?
Dinesh: As your supervisor, I wanted to inform you that there is a first aid kit, but if you need blood, don't go to Gilfoyle 'cause he's type-O. Typo! They love it. They're all laughing at you.
Dinesh: (practicing his joke) Pixar's hit animated motion picture "Toy Story." Pixar's hit animated motion picture "Toy Story." Pixar's... (elevator opens) oh hey! Were you guys talking about Pixar's hit animated motion picture "Toy Story"? No. 'Cause Gilfoyle's favorite character is "Bugs" Lightyear. We're all laughing at you, Gilfoyle.

Bighead: Fiona, what's 12 times 157?
Fiona: Twelve times 157 is 1,884.
Bighead: So cool. Hey, is she right? Hey Siri, what's 12 times 157?
Siri: It's 1,884.
Bighead: Oh, no way!

Gavin: I'm not asking you to cut off his testicles and shove 'em down his throat, shoot him in the back of the head Triad style. I just need you to get this kid's code for me. By whatever means necessary.

Jared: It's kind of hard to explain, but... a campfire smells sad and exciting at the same time.
Fiona: I understand.

Jared: (referring to Fiona) We have so much in common. We discussed our phobias. I told her that I was afraid of being found out as a fraud. And she told me that she's afraid of magnets.


"Made In China" by Higher Brothers x Famous Dex (End credits music)

Notes and Trivia

Actor Matt Ross, who plays Gavin Belson, directed this episode.

Note when he is standing in front of Dinesh who was finishing his coding, Gilfoyle's coffee mug says, "Drink Coffee, Hail Satan."

The artwork Monica had the workers remove was the question mark painting (made of human hair harvested from dead people) that was last seen in episode S03E03 - Meinertzhagen's Haversack.

The song the children sang for Gavin was a traditional Chinese children's song named "Buyu Ge" (Fishing Song).

In the scene where Jared and Fiona were talking by the pool, notice the table between them, where it shows how Jared was drinking a glass of wine and Fiona was enjoying a "sip" of power from a power supply.

When some of the Chinese written post-it notes on Jian Yang's whiteboard are translated, they say, "Copy Jinri Toutiao (Today's Headline)", which is a popular Chinese online news platform, "Richard only has an attack stat of 5", which is a reference to Dragonball and a Chinese meme created to say someone was weak, "Ban ads of the Putian Medical Group", which is a company known for misleading ads (and bad medical treatment) on Baidu, references to "stupid Americans", and random notes describing methods of getting around China's Firewall.




The street location where the driver dropped off Fiona was located on the street in front of the building that represents the outside of the Season 5 Pied Piper offices, at 844 E Green Street, Pasadena, CA. (Google)

The building that doubles as Eklow Labs is located at 8439 Steller Drive, Culver City, California. (Google)


StarringThomas MiddleditchRichard Hendricks
StarringJosh BrenerNelson 'Big Head' Bighetti
StarringMartin StarrBertram Gilfoyle
StarringKumail NanjianiDinesh Chugtai
StarringAmanda CrewMonica
StarringZach WoodsJared Dunn
StarringMatt RossGavin Belson
StarringSuzanne CryerLaurie Bream
StarringJimmy O. YangJian Yang
Guest StarringSuzanne LenzFiona
Guest StarringTzi MaYao
Guest StarringBernard WhiteSpiritual Advisor / Denpok
Guest StarringChris WilliamsHoover
Co-StarringChris AquilinoDanny
Co-StarringJeff GraceEklow Employee
Co-StarringJeff HoukalGuy who wears Fiona's face
Co-StarringOliver Jiahe Le
Co-StarringJulie Huei Lo
Co-StarringJacqueline Shaozhen Luo
Co-StarringElyssa PhillipsMaya (Eklow Employee)
Co-StarringSamuel Rao
Co-StarringAlveraz RicardezFiona Driver
Co-StarringRachel RosenbloomBecky
Co-StarringAaron SandersHolden
Co-StarringFaith Tan
Co-StarringAlice Tang
Co-StarringRegina Traballo
Co-StarringSamantha Wu
Co-StarringLeslin Zheng
Co-StarringElena Zhong
Co-StarringJohnny Zhong
*UncreditedAlfred HsingChinese Biker / Coder