S05E08 - Fifty-One Percent

No: 46  |  Season: 5   Episode: 8  |  Air Date: 13-May-2018  |  Ratings:


The launch of PiperNet finds Monica suspicious of an early success, and the team must race against the clock as their future is threatened. Realizing he's made more enemies than friends, Richard makes a surprising move. Season finale.

Director and Writers

Director: Alec Berg
Written by: Alec Berg


Richard: I just knew that if we kept plugging away, eventually, we'd get some traction and reach an inflection point. What did I keep saying?
Holden: Give us time and then we'll climb, bitches!
Richard: Yes, Holden. That's right, except for the bitches part, but yes.

Holden: Lock them up! Lock them up!
Dinesh: Jesus, Jared. You really did a number on that kid.
Jared: God. Yeah. I just chipped away everything that wasn't Richard's assistant and this is what's left.

Monica: Sorry, I don't mean to rain on the parade.
Gilfoyle: I find parades to be impotent displays of authoritarianism.

Colin: Dude. Can I be real with you? I really need this.
Richard: Can I be realer? Kiss my piss.

Monica: Our coin price wasn't growing with our user numbers, so we coded a diagnostic tool to go through the ledger and figure out exactly where our users are coming from.
Gilfoyle: Yes. We coded it.
Monica: You're smoking my cigarettes, asshole.

Bighead: Hey, Jian-Yang. It's Big Head. How's it going, man?
Monica: He's been in contact with Jian-Yang this whole time?
Jared: Yeah, they play Words with Friends.
Bighead: Cool, cool. Listen, Gilfoyle wants to ask you a question.
Jian Yang: No. I don't want to talk to Gilfoyle. He's a racist and a witch.
Gilfoyle: I'm not a witch. Now spit out the kimchi and tell me what the fuck is going on with our network.

Rachel: Gavin, you've staked the entire future of this company on the Signature Box Three. Where are they?
Gavin: Well, the last two months have been challenging. The Chinese were petulant. The North Carolinians proved very entitled. And I held out hopes for our experiment in the Yukon Territories. But as it happens, the Inuit are surprisingly adept at collective bargaining. But fear not, I am in the early stages of a new plan. Did you know that some of America's most capable, motivated laborers are at this moment awaiting execution?

Monica: Colin went camping. Alone.
Jared: Well, did she say where he went?
Monica: The Los Trancos Preserve?
Jared: Wait. I know exactly where that is. I used to go foraging for mushrooms with my friend Muriel there before she passed away.

Dinesh: (driving through a campground) How could it be this crowded?
Jared: Burning Man's in two weeks, so people are beta testing their new gear.
Dinesh: Why would people who aren't refugees choose to come here and live like refugees? You know that's not, like, a desirable thing, right? Living like a refugee? Ugh! This place is offensive to homeless people.

Danny: Becky, did you run connection throttling on the latest batch of device IDs?
Becky: Yes. You know why? I'm not a moron.
Danny: Oh, I see. I'm the asshole.
Becky: Really? You really wanna have this conversation?
Gilfoyle: You're both assholes. Shut the fuck up.

Jared: This is the last road, Dinesh. He's not here.
Dinesh: Colin! Colin!
Camper: Will you shut the fuck up?
Jared: (angry) How would you like to die today, motherfucker?
Dinesh: No, it's not a real death threat, sir.
Jared: I'm sorry. I'm just stressed.

Richard: Gavin is fucking us. He just convinced Yao to pull his phones.
Gilfoyle: What the fuck is that noise?
Richard: Gavin's making ice cream.

Jared: I heard on a podcast that patrol men are actually a lot more tempted by bribes than you might think.
Dinesh: Officer, hi. Is there anything I can do to make this all... go away?
CHP Officer: Sir, I would think very carefully about the next words that come out of your mouth.

Gavin: Sorry, but this gives me all the cards. I get Hooli back. Fuck Bezos and fuck you and your 20% offer. And fuck the Signature Box Three. I get a complete do-over. Tim Cook keeps inviting me to his brunches. Fuck him! I'll host the fucking brunches.

Gavin: (reads the paper RIchard signed) Sorry, what does this say? Kiss my...
Richard: Piss. Kiss my piss. Kiss my piss. (starts dancing)
Laurie: Richard, please stop the movement. I find it annoying.


"Getaway" by Uncle Walt's Band (End credits music.)

Notes and Trivia

Season 5 finale.

This is the second episode where we see Dinesh perform his karaoke version of Crispian St. Peter's "Pied Piper. The first being in S03E08 - Bachman's Earning's Over-Ride.

The bottle of "Pappy Van Winkle" Gilfoyle had in his desk is a callback to a similar bottle he received from a recruiter when EndFrame tried to hire him in S03E03 - Meinertzhagen's Haversack.

According to Zach woods, the line "How would you like to die today, motherfucker?" was improvised. (Huffington Post)

Note when Dinesh and Jared find Colin camping, he has isolated himself inside a motor home playing a video game, but he has a video of nature scenes playing on a separate screen.




The scenes where Colin had gone camping at "Los Trancos Preserve" were filmed at the Lake Piru Recreation Area, located in Los Padres National Forest in Ventura County, CA. (near Los Angeles)


StarringThomas MiddleditchRichard Hendricks
StarringJosh BrenerNelson 'Big Head' Bighetti
StarringMartin StarrBertram Gilfoyle
StarringKumail NanjianiDinesh Chugtai
StarringAmanda CrewMonica
StarringZach WoodsJared Dunn
StarringMatt RossGavin Belson
StarringSuzanne CryerLaurie Bream
StarringJimmy O. YangJian Yang
Guest StarringScott PrendergastScott
Guest StarringRogelio RamosExecutive
Guest StarringNeil CaseyColin
Guest StarringTzi MaYao
Guest StarringAaron SandersHolden
Co-StarringAngela AiFactory Superviser
Co-StarringChris AquilinoDanny
Co-StarringGatsby CoramCHP Officer Bronski
Co-StarringKunal DedhekerTholio CEO
Co-StarringAnna KhajaRachel
Co-StarringAlice KoCroupier
Co-StarringHenry PhilipsJohn
Co-StarringRachel RosenbloomBecky
Co-StarringEric SatterbergCamper
Co-StarringKrishna SmithaPriyanka
Co-StarringPing WuHenry