S03E06 - Bachmanity Insanity

No: 24  |   Season: 3   Episode: 6  |   Air Date: 29-May-16  

In T-minus five minutes, Big Head and I are going to take that stage and I am going to ejaculate my success all over the faces and hair of my fiercest rivals. Like some sort of vengeful viscous web of payback.
In T-minus five minutes, Big Head and I are going to take that stage and I am going to ejaculate my success all over the faces and hair of my fiercest rivals. Like some sort of vengeful viscous web of payback.

Summary

Richard's obsession over using tabs instead of spaces to indent code causes ripples at Pied Piper. However, when he begins a romantic relationship with Winnie, a coder from Facebook, he can't get past the fact she uses spaces instead of tabs. Seeing that Richard is dating, Jared suddenly decides to have sex and has no problem landing a beautiful women for a sexual encounter. Meanwhile, Dinesh courts Elisabet, a female coder he only sees via a web stream. Things are going great until he develops a much clearer stream and she sees a higher definition version of his face, then she dumps him. Erlich and Big Head prepare for Bachmanity's big opening extravaganza, however at the last minute Big Head's accountant breaks the bad news to them... they burned through all their money. At Hooli, Gavin Belson deals with the fallout from the "scrub scandal" and wonders who the "insider" might be.

Director and Writers

Director: Eric Appel
Written by: Carson Mell

Quotes

Dinesh: That is a good point. Anytime you're near a woman it is important to explain why. Otherwise they get nervous.

Dinesh: Okay, so she's a founder hounder.
Richard: Come on, no, it-- it's not like that.

Jared: At Hooli, I once saw two engineers get into a fight so vicious, they almost made physical contact.

Richard: I'll hand you back to Dinesh now. He's the man with the plan and the, ah, pretty cool tan.
Dinesh: It's not a tan. This is how I was born.

Gavin Belson: You know, a hundred years ago, men like me could've had people like that killed. Just like that. You think captains of industry like Andrew Carnegie or Cornelius Vanderbilt would've batted an eyelid? Please. (sighs) Times sure have changed.

Erlich: Now, I have yet to land on a theme.
Sasha: Most people who rent Alcatraz for parties tend to go with the prison theme.
Erlich: Hm... how much would it cost to make this look as if it were never a prison at all? Spare no expense, and if you think it would be cool, I would love to have some sort of chocolate moat here, with little boats floating down a field with graham crackers and marshmallows. It's been a childhood dream of mine. And get the best chocolatier, we want to impress. I'm inviting every asshole from the Valley to attend.
Sasha: You're inviting assholes?
Erlich: Absolutely. Assholes, shit dongles, any foe or enemy I've made over my storied career will be here. That way, when I take this stage and unleash the power of Bachmanity, they'll all be in the front row.

Big Head: That's the thing about the NDA, is that the NDA is actually covered under the NDA. So if I told you about the NDA, it would've been a violation of the NDA.

Jared: I had a stuffed animal named Winnie.
Winnie: Oh, wow.
Jared: I mean, it wasn't technically an animal, I took a Ziploc bag and I stuffed it with old newspaper and then I drew a smile on it.

Richard: Okay, well, uh, shall we have some coffee, my lady?
Winnie: Sure. Let's do it.
Richard: Okay. All right.
Gilfoyle: We're already on to Elizabethan nicknames. This is serious. They'll be Ren Faire-ing soon.

Jared: Maybe now I'll fan out my plumage, so to speak, and see what pretty birdies might share my nest.

Richard: Okay, so I'll just get the car keys and then give you a lift home. Okay, my lady?
Winnie: My lord.
Richard: Oh. My lady. (chuckles)

(They are looking at Winnie's code)
Dinesh: Uh-oh.
Winnie: What?
Gilfoyle: Spaces.
Winnie: Yeah, so what, you guys use tabs?
Dinesh: In this house, yes. Richard is a bit of a zealot in the Tabs V. Spaces holy war.
Winnie: I get that, for his company. Sure.
Gilfoyle: This goes much deeper. I think he believes that people who use spaces are less than.
Winnie: Huh...
Gilfoyle: I wouldn't mention this to Richard. You don't want to see him throw a hissy fit.

Business Manager: So, you moved the swimming pool?
Big Head: Yeah, it just felt like it was way too far from the house, like, crazy far. So I had this company come and just move it closer.
Business Manager: Uh-huh. But then you moved it back?
Big Head: Yeah, turns out the guy who built this place knew exactly what he was doing, and the pool was right where it needed to be the whole time. But now I know that for sure, which feels good.

Winnie: They tried to convince me you were some sort of formatting Nazi about tabs versus spaces.
Richard: What? Me? Nazi? (laughs, then uses a German accent) That's ridiculous.
Winnie: That's what I said, I mean, I use spaces. So what?
Richard: Mm... Yeah, so what? (nervously takes a drink)
Winnie: See, they said you'd have a hissy fit if you found out.
Richard: Mm-mm. Hissy fit, me? No.
Winnie: I know.
Richard: (talking fast) You know. I know. I mean, make up your mind, guys, am I a Nazi or am I a guy who throws hissy fits? You know? Am I a Nazi who throws hissy fits? I hope not. That was Hitler. That was like his whole deal. I mean, that's pretty insensitive to the Holocaust, don't you think? Cause that's, like, what Hitler did, you know, he just, like, killed so many people, so tragic, such a tragic time. I'm so glad we're not doing that anymore. I mean, we, like I... like I was, you know, whoa! I want them all to die. I don't, I don't care. I mean, I do care, don't-- don't kill them-- them-- Jews. Uh, anyway, what do you want to... what do you want to order here?

Gilfoyle: If you worked half as hard on the platform as you do trying to ogle strange Slavic women, maybe our shares would finally be worth something.

Richard: Jared, did-- did you just have sex with her?
Jared: What? I'm an adult, and like the rest of you, I'm a sexual being.
Gilfoyle: You fucked her in the garage?
Jared: Well, it's the server room and my bedroom.
Dinesh: What, so you just meet a woman, and then you have sex with her? How often does this happen?
Jared: Well, if you're asking me how many times I've been in love, the answer is two. But the rest I won't talk about. It's untoward.
Dinesh: Russ was right, this guy fucks.

Erlich: Jared, nice. Using that dick.

Erlich: (to Jared) Good idea. Don't bring sand to the beach, there's already pussy there.

Richard: I mean, why not just use Vim over Emacs? (laughs nervously)
Winnie: I do use Vim over Emacs.
Richard: Oh, God, help us!

Winnie: Oh, my God! Richard, what happened?
Richard: I just tried to go down the stairs eight steps at a time.

Elisabet: I can... see you now.
Dinesh: It's me! Pakistani Denzel! Yes!
Elisabet: The Denzel who is from Pakistan...
Dinesh: This video quality is great, right? Looks so sharp. That's what we do here at Pied Piper.
Elisabet: It-- it's very impressive. Um, I will have to tell my boyfriend all about it.

Gilfoyle: Either she froze time, met and married the man of her dreams, unfroze time, and hopped back on to vid chat with you, or... you're the dogface. Which do you think it is? I'm on the fence.

Erlich: Gentlemen, mahalo for coming. You must taste the breaded humuhumunukunukuapua'a, flown in fresh this a.m.
Dinesh: What is mumu--
Erlich: It's breaded.

Erlich: In T-minus five minutes, Big Head and I are going to take that stage and I am going to ejaculate my success all over the faces and hair of my fiercest rivals. Like some sort of vengeful viscous web of payback.

Music

"Stretch Your Face" by Tobacco (Opening title music)

"White Sandy Beach" by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo'ole (End-credits music.)

Notes and Trivia

At the beginning of the episode Richard brings an extra large virgin margarita to the table and Erlich makes individual drinks spiked with Russ Hanneman's "Tres Commas" tequila, obviously leftover from S02E08.

Fictional Winnie has a real Github page at https://github.com/stitchpunk

Bridey Lee Elliot, who plays Richard's girlfriend Winnie, is the daughter of comedian Chris Elliott and the sister of SNL alum Abby Elliott.

Some of the slogans on the protest signs outside Gavin's office were "Heil Gavin", "Hooli" (with the O's replaced by an angry face), "It takes change erase change", "Hooli can't scrub of bad ethics", "Don't scrub my search", "Hooli needs a bath" and "Hooli Search - lies lies lies...".

Although Jimmy O. Yang (Jian Yang), Amanda Crew (Monica) and Suzanne Cryer (Laurie Bream) are credited for this episode, they did not appear.

Goofs

At the beginning of the episode, as Erlich is filling plastic cups from the extra large virgin margarita, he fills the first cup. However, when the shot immediately shifts to across the table the margarita glass seems to be full again.

In the scene where Big Head is talking to Erlich at Alcatraz, Big Head's hair goes from being combed nicely, to messy, and then back to being combed.

Locations

The exterior shot of the Mexican restaurant featured at the beginning of the episode was taken at La Morenita Restaurant, 800 Emerson Street, Palo Alto, CA. (Google)

The establishing shot of the restaurant exterior for the scene where Richard and Winnie are on a date was taken at Local Union 271, 271 University Ave, Palo Alto, CA. (Google)

Cast

StarringThomas MiddleditchRichard Hendricks
StarringT.J. MillerErlich Bachman
StarringJosh BrenerNelson 'Big Head' Bighetti
StarringMartin StarrBertram Gilfoyle
StarringKumail NanjianiDinesh Chugtai
StarringAmanda CrewMonica
StarringZach WoodsJared Dunn
StarringMatt RossGavin Belson
StarringSuzanne CryerLaurie Bream
StarringJimmy O. YangJian Yang
Guest StarringBridey ElliottWinnie
Guest StarringKen LernerArthur
Guest StarringMichael McMillianAaron 'Double A' Anderson
Guest StarringAnnie SertichC.J. Cantwell
Guest StarringChris WilliamsHoover
Co-StarringCate CohenMelinda
Co-StarringJulie DoveParty Stage Manager
Co-StarringAlan GrayOrville (Old Hippy Man)
Co-StarringJay MandyamSanjay
Co-StarringMiljan MilosevicGleb
Co-StarringBridgett NewtonSasha
Co-StarringSigrid OwenElisabet
Co-StarringDiallo RiddlePaul
Co-StarringHanover SavasCarol