Laurie - Silicon Valley

Laurie Bream Quotes - Silicon Valley

Laurie Bream quotes from the hit HBO show "Silicon Valley"


S03E09 - Daily Active Users (Laurie Quotes)

Erlich: I love what you've done with the place. It's a really... nicely done place. (points to a picture) Say, is that your dog?
Laurie: It's a dog.
Erlich: You and I have never really had much of a rapport, have we?
Laurie: It's... wanting.

S03E08 - Bachman's Earning's Over-Ride (Laurie Quotes)

Laurie: It was one of my finer moments. Erlich came to me with an outside offer to sell half of his Pied Piper shares.
Richard: To Russ Hanneman for five million dollars. Yes, I know. But somehow you ended up with all of his shares. How?
Laurie: Oh, well, as you know, the same onerous terms you accepted when you took Russ Hanneman's money, they transferred to me when I bought him out. These included the right to block any transfer of stocks with a majority vote of the board. A board which I control.
Richard: I don't understand.
Laurie: Of course you do. If I have approval of any buyer, and I am the only buyer I approve, then I can set my own price. So I asked Mr. Bachman for a thorough accounting of his debts, uh, which ran to approximately $713,000.
Richard: And how much did you give him?
Laurie: $713,000.

S03E04 - Maleant Data Systems Solutions (Laurie Quotes)

Erlich: Fuck me sideways.
Laurie Bream: Indeed.

S03E03 - Meinertzhagen's Haversack (Laurie Quotes)

Laurie Bream: It is a question mark made of human hair harvested apparently from dead people in India. It's a pun. It signifies, at Raviga we ask the big hairy questions.

S02E08 - White Hat/Black Hat (Laurie Quotes)

Erlich: In our initial build we realized that the same geo-tagging technology that could be used to locate uncrowded playgrounds could also be used to prey on children, our greatest natural resource, by one of society's worst elements Pedophiles.
Laurie: The pedophile facing nature of the app would present marketing pain points. Yes.
Erlich: But under Monica's guidance, we realized the same technology could also be used to create a real-time, crowd-sourced map of an even worse segment of the population.
Laurie: Worse than pedophiles?
Erlich: Smokers. Because, let's face it, no one's ever died of secondhand heroin.

S02E02 - Runaway Devaluation (Laurie Quotes)

Laurie Bream: Dress unattractively when you tell them. I read a study. The less sexual interest they feel for you, the less perturbing it will be. It sounds strange, but it's credible. May I suggest the beige ensemble in which you came to work Tuesday?