S04E04 - Teambuilding Exercise

No: 32  |   Season: 4   Episode: 4  |   Air Date: 14-May-17  

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I'll kill them with knives, I'll kill them with guns, I'll kill them with my hands, I'll talk them into suicide.

Summary

When Richard reaches out to an unlikely ally, Jared worries about the company he's keeping. Gilfoyle gets tough on security in the wake of Dinesh's latest dalliance; later, he considers whether to put his pride aside for a job. Concerned about Jian-Yang's commitment to his app, Erlich takes matters into his own hands.

Director and Writers

Director: Jamie Babbit
Written by: Megan Pleticha

Quotes

Richard: I read Peter's notes, all of them, and he knew that a peer-to-peer Internet was possible in the future, but he was also basing that on, what, old desktop computers. He never, ever foresaw the ubiquity or power of all of our modern-day smartphones. He was also dealing with a completely different Weissman limit. So... uh, yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Gavin: What is that? Is that number correct?
Richard: The delta in mean device efficiency? Yeah, it is. See, eventually, over time, this will render every server that Hooli operates obsolete, which would make Jack Barker shit himself.
Gavin: Holy shit!

Dinesh: Oh, this is weird. Mia just texted me "Good luck with the demo." Did any of you guys tell her about this?
Gilfoyle: Your hacker girlfriend wouldn't happen to know the model of our router, would she?

Jian-Yang: What would you say if I told you there is an app on the ma...
Erlich: We're past that part! Just demo it.
Jian-Yang: Okay. Let's start with a hot dog.
(the app successfully identifies a hot dog)
Monica: Oh shit. It works!
Erlich: Motherfuck!
Jared: Huzzah!
Erlich: Jian-Yang, my beautiful little Asiatic friend, I'm going to buy you the palapa of your life. We will have 12 posts, braided palm leaves. You'll never feel exposed again.
Dinesh: I'm gonna be rich. Fuck you, Gilfoyle.
Jared: Do pizza.
Erlich: Yes, do pizza.
(Jian-Yang tries the app on a slice of pizza)
App: Not hotdog
Monica: "Not hot dog"?
Erlich: Wait. What the fuck? Huh?
Monica: That's... that's it? It only does hot dogs?
Jian-Yang: No, and "not hot dog."

Erlich: Jian-Yang. Motherfuck. I gave you the ability to spin gold, and instead, you've spun pubic hair with shit in it, and gravel and corn...

Jian-Yang: (to Monica) Erlich was right. You are a white witch.

Jared: When you don the skin of the beast, the man within dies.
Richard: What is that? Nietzsche?
Jared: One of the boys at my group home always said that. He died.

Dinesh: I don't think we need to be afraid of the Wi-Fi.
Gilfoyle: It's pronounced "way-fee" and clearly you don't understand the threat level of the person that you're sexually disappointing.

Jared: Why is Richard in there with Brett Saxby? I mean, he was in Gavin's inner circle. Is Richard aware of that? Is anyone taking notes? Does Richard even have a pen? It's 10:00 a.m. Why are they drinking beer?

Bighead: I might run out of material soon. We already watched the Facebook movie, A.I., The Net, and half of Tron.
Dinesh: Which Tron?
Bighead: What? No. Tron.
Dinesh: There's two Trons.
Bighead: Oh, shit. That's awesome. It should get me through another week. Thanks.

Erlich: Gentlemen, I just paid the palapa contractor. The palapa piper, so to speak. The dream is a reality. We'll no longer be exposed... to the elements.

Jian-Yang: I fucking hate SeeFood. I have to look at different hot dogs. There's Chinese hot dogs, Polish hot dogs, Jewish hot dogs. It fucking stupid.

Big Head: Your phone has technology inside it, so you're double-learning.

(Jian-Yang pulls up in a yellow corvette)
Erlich: Jian-Yang, what in the good fuck is that?
Jian-Yang: It's called business expense. You buy a hut. I... buy a car. You say, "Keep doing SeeFood until money is gone." Now, the money is gone. Dick... is up.
Erlich: Where'd you get those sunglasses? Did they come with the car?
Jian-Yang: These are from your mom.

Gilfoyle: The fuck was that?
Erlich: Oh, just three months of runway being driven off by 90 pounds of asshole.
Gilfoyle: Spoken by a 280-pound pile of shit.

Richard: I'm not hiring him. He uses spaces not tabs.

Jared: You need me... the half-crazed, half-Apache who will do anything to get your back. I'll scalp Gavin if I have to, and all the rest of those paleface sons of bitches. I'll kill them with knives. I'll kill them with guns. I'll kill them with my hands. I'll talk them into suicide. It doesn't matter.

Jared: Together again. Butch Cassidy and his head of business development.
Ricard: Oh, wow, another Western reference.
Jared: Yaw! Let's go.

Gilfoyle's Notes: David Burnham. Annoying slob, fucked-up face. I could write better Python with my asshole.

Jared: Gilfoyle is a man of intense pride. So, when he refers to a potential employee as a "pig-faced fuck nose," what I hear is "I need to be needed."

Jared: Gilfoyle's insults are normally well crafted, almost poetic. Last week he referred to me as Frankenstein's bulimic daughter.

Erlich: Wait, that's stealing.
Student: No. It's exactly what Mark Zuckerberg did to the Winklvii in that Facebook movie Professor Bighetti had us watch. And he was the hero of that film.

Erlich: (to Bighead's class) I've read a number of disparaging articles about your generation in The Atlantic and Slate.com summaries. It's all true. Trigger warning: fuck you!

Jian-Yang: You know, the car was a mistake. I was driving next to a store window, and I stop and look in my reflection. I looked like an asshole.

Erlich: Gentlemen, I'm off to be out and about in the 'Vette. Be back for supper, that is, of course, unless I get fucked to death by the fairer sex.

Gilfoyle: Thanks for asking. I'm going to put this as delicately as I know how. You can chortle my balls.

Laurie: Jian-Yang unwittingly crafted an amazing tool for the real-time detection and filtering of penile imagery.
Monica: And Periscope does have a dick problem.

Jian-Ying : Erlich, is the refrigerator running? This is Mike Hunt, and he's rich.

Gilfoyle: Did your deal with Periscope ever close?
Dinesh: Yep. If I stay a year, I vest a big chunk of Twitter stock.
Gilfoyle: Great. Great. And... what exactly are you working on?
Dinesh: Oh, you know, we're tuning... our algorithm. We're reconfiguring our... classifier from food to... another purpose.
Gilfoyle: Uh-huh. In other words, you sit around and look at dick pics all day long. Don't let me stop you. (looks at the computer screen) Wow. I would say, "Not safe for work," but this is your work... for a year... at least. Is that one... actually a hot dog?
Dinesh: No. Not hot dog.

Music

"Stretch Your Face" by Tobacco (Opening title music)

"Kool Aid" by Danny Brown (Playing on the sound system of the yellow corvette)

"On My Own" by Old Man Saxon x Mount Cyanide (End credits music.)

Notes and Trivia

As the episode aired an App called "Not Hotdog" by SeeFood Technologies Inc. was made available in the iTunes App Store.

Although Stephen Tobolowsky (Jack Barker) and Chris Diamantopoulos (Russ Hanneman) are credited for this episode they did not appear.

Goofs

Gilfoyle corrected Dinesh's pronunciation of Wi-Fi, but a few seconds later he pronounced it the same way Dinesh had.

Locations

The exterior and interior scenes of Gavin Belson's Mansion were shot at 3300 Palos Verdes Drive West, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA. (Detailed information)

The scenes where Big Head is teaching at Stanford were filmed at the California Institute of Technology in Noyes 153 (Sturdivant Lecture Hall). (Photos)

The street where Erlich was cruising with the yellow corvette was Broxton Avenue (between Weyburn and Kinross), in the Westwood area of Los Angeles. (Google)

Cast

StarringThomas MiddleditchRichard Hendricks
StarringT.J. MillerErlich Bachman
StarringJosh BrenerNelson 'Big Head' Bighetti
StarringMartin StarrBertram Gilfoyle
StarringKumail NanjianiDinesh Chugtai
StarringAmanda CrewMonica Hall
StarringZach WoodsJared Dunn
StarringMatt RossGavin Belson
StarringSuzanne CryerLaurie Bream
StarringJimmy O. YangJian Yang
StarringStephen TobolowskyJack Barker
StarringChris DiamantopoulosRuss Hanneman
Guest StarringSunkrish BalaGarrett
Guest StarringVanessa MaranoStudent
Co-StarringDemetri BelardinelliBrett Saxby
Co-StarringChaz KaoStudent