S06E06 - RussFest

No: 52  |  Season: 6   Episode: 6  |  Air Date: 1-Dec-19  |  Ratings:


A major event puts PiperNet's capabilities to the test; Monica confronts Jian-Yang over his use of Pied Piper's name.

Director and Writers

Director: Matt Ross
Written by: Carrie Kemper


Russ: Crazy Town's gonna be there. So is Puddle of Mudd. You know Puddle of Mudd?

Richard: (In a Knight's costume) Dodgy gadin, my merry knights of Piper. Sir Owen, doing valiant battle with the authentication service. Yes, good. Yeah. Oh, and prithee, Becky, my queen, how goeth cashless payments?
Becky: Russ's pricing keeps tripping us up.
Richard: Okay, how so?
Becky: Well, this morning, he decided everyone at RussFest should be a billionaire, so every dollar someone puts into their account will now be worth one billion RussBucks.
Richard: Zwoons! So, what, like a sandwich will be worth 15 billion RussBucks or something?
Becky: Fourteen billion, nine hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine RussBucks and ninety-nine RussCents, because he thought that would sound cheaper.

Dinesh: Hey, Richard. Did you order meat? Like a bunch of meat? Like 4,000 pounds of meat?
Gilfoyle: Interesting. I put Son of Anton on finding us cheap hamburgers for lunch. It looks like the reward function was a little under-specified.

Russ: Hologram question. You told AT&T that the hologram would be interactive, right?
Richard: Yes.
Russ: See, asshole? My hologram can 100% dry hump festival-goers from behind. If they ask for it. Hashtag woke.

Richard: Once more people show up, the network effect will take over, and it will stabilize, I promise.
Russ: Do you swear? Because one time, I threw a party and David Copperfield said it was beat. Promise me that this will not be beat.

Receptionist: I'm sorry. You said you spoke to an employee named Eric Bachman?
Monica: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. (Whispering) Hey. Give me that. (on phone) Hi. Does your Eric Bachman have a Chinese accent?

Monica: Big Head! What the hell is going on here?
Big Head: What do you mean?
Jian-Yang: Who let her in? I take one lousy sh1t...
Monica: Jian-Yang, what is going on here?
Jian-Yang: All girls coding camp. I support woman.

Monica: You're using underage girls as slave labor for a fake Amazon review farm?
Jian-Yang: Yes.
Monica: And you're using the Pied Piper name?
Jian-Yang: Yes. It's okay. I have money.

Russ: Guys, nobody's eating the peyote. Will you eat the peyote, and then that'll break the ice and they'll eat the peyote?

Richard: It's, uh, Richard Hendricks, from Pied Piper. How's it going, dude?
Jian-Yang: Very bad. My underage girl slaves all left.
Richard: Oh, yeah, totally. Bummer. Well, you'll find them...

Jared: (to Gwart) what time is it? One large artichoke, extra rare, cup of mayonnaise. I see you still take your snack at 3:17.

Richard: So, Gilfoyle, how much faster is our network now?
Gilfolye: Zero faster. It's slower, and still degrading.
Richard: What are you talking about?
Gilfoyle: About how our network is slower and still degrading.

Russ: Did you get my messages?
Gilfoyle: Uh... Messaging's stalling, too.
Russ: I sent you guys photos of three different outfits. Did you hate them all? Wha... What's wrong?
Jared: Uh, no. Definitely the second one. I like the second one.
Russ: You really think a white guy can wear that and get away with it?
Gilfoyle: Definitely.
Dinesh: No.
Russ: You know what? You're right. f*ck political correctness. I'm looking at four guys that f*ck!

Jared: (referring to Laurie) Well, she's just a hater, and, no disrespect, but she can eat sh1t.
Dinesh: Yeah, obviously.

Richard: Do you think there's gonna be a riot?
Dinesh: Oh, I'm sure 20,000 coked-up douchebags will be very civil when they can't get food or water.

Jared: You... are like the three musketeers of coding, except you are all d'Artagnan.


"Champipple" by John Popper & The Duskray Troubadours (End credits music.)

Notes and Trivia

Although Matt Ross (Gavin Belson) is credited for this episode, he did not appear.

When Richard approaches Laurie to accuse her of hacking their system, he has a newer MacBook Pro. When he smashes his laptop on the ground he is holding a an older model MacBook Pro.






StarringThomas MiddleditchRichard Hendricks
StarringJosh BrenerNelson 'Big Head' Bighetti
StarringMartin StarrBertram Gilfoyle
StarringKumail NanjianiDinesh Chugtai
StarringAmanda CrewMonica Hall
StarringZach WoodsDonald 'Jared' Dunn
StarringMatt RossGavin Belson (credit only)
StarringSuzanne CryerLaurie Bream
StarringJimmy O. YangJian Yang
StarringChris DiamantopoulosRuss Hanneman
Guest StarringArturo CastroMaximo Reyes
Guest StarringCraig FrankMichael Eisenberg
Co-StarringChris AquilinoDanny
Co-StarringAristotle AthirasGabe
Co-StarringNandini BapatGwart
Co-StarringLili BrennanSophie
Co-StarringJohn ColtonLawrence Smith
Co-StarringNina GosiengfiaoPied Piper Receptionist
Co-StarringRachel RosenbloomBecky