S06E07 - Exit Event
No: 53 | Season: 6 Episode: 7 | Air Date: 8-Dec-19 | Ratings:
Richard and the Pied Piper team look to pull off a spectacular feat on the day of a big launch. Series Finale.
Director and Writers
Director: Alec Berg
Written by: Alec Berg
Documentarian: Nice place?
Dinesh: It was like a sh1t hole, but there was so much sh1t in it, it was filled all the way up. So, it was, like, level with the ground.
Jared: If that's true, there was a little meniscus in the sh1t, and that's where... our dreams lived.
Monica: Not the kind of house you wanna take your shoes off in. Yeah, just f*ckin' smelled really bad.
Gilfoyle: It was all right.
Jared: I have a surprise for everybody, and, um, (laughing) suffice it to say, I think that everyone here is gonna want a slice of this moist and scrumptious cake. We're gonna take a bite in three, two...
Gabe: Richard's in the cake!
Russ: I just bought all the Pied Piper shares that some dentist in Phoenix had.
Big Head: Oh, no way. My dad's a dentist in Phoenix.
Russ: Well, hopefully he's not an asshole like this guy.
Big Head: Yeah, that would suck.
Jian-Yang: Richard, congratulations. It's your very close friend Jian-Yang, and I would like you to give me free shares of Pied Piper.
Richard: Okay, Jian-Yang. Uh... Well, you had plenty of opportunity to invest. Still do.
Monica: Yeah, you can buy Pipercoin.
Jian-Yang: Monica, two men are talking business. You can find your broom and fly away.
Gavin: Since leaving Hooli, I've co-authored 37 adult romance novels. Fondly, Margeaux. The Lighthouse Dancer. Cold Ice Cream and Hot Kisses. Over here, The Prince of Puget Sound. Uh, and lastly, His Hazel Glance. All international best sellers.
Rod Morgenstern: You said that this would be an hour.
Gavin: Well, we're just running a little over.
Rod: Yeah, with the lights, and the machines, and the sound equipment, how is this ever gonna be an hour?
Gavin: You're acting hysterical, all right? We'll have plenty of time to write this...
Rod: Yeah, you know what? You know what? Do your... your little interview. I'll just write the book myself, okay?
Gavin: Well, if you could you would, but you can't. You're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with you.
Rod: Whoa, whoa, whoa... That's what Florian says to Claudette outside the cheese cave!
Gavin: Oh my God! That's our third act!
Rod: Third act!
Gavin: Yes! Okay, go, put the kettle on.
Gilfoyle: Once launched, our AI will keep learning to break more and more sophisticated parameters. Ultimately, this will mean the end of privacy. Electrical grids, financial institutions, the nuclear launch codes for every single nuclear weapon. All will be exposed. Pure violence will become the only basis of power.
Dinesh: Spare us the apocalyptic desert planet sci-fi bullshit, Frank Herbert.
Jared: (to Monica) Uh, Frank Herbert was a writer who wrote a series of...
Monica: I know who f*cking Frank Herbert is.
Dinesh: I'm gonna be honest with you. No offense to me, but I am greedy and unreliable, bordering on piece of sh1t. If there is a chance to stop you guys from stopping you guys, I will do it. I will sabotage your sabotage. So, if this company needs to fail epically, like f*cking fail... you need to do it without me. Revoke my permissions. Delete my PiperMail account. I will use Gmail like a f*cking basic bitch. Don't let me anywhere near that launch. I may beg, and I will lie to you. I cannot bribe you because I don't have any money. But I am too much of a liability.
Jared: That is the most courageous act of cowardice I've ever seen.
Dinesh: These security guards? Are they your best guys? Like, will they stop me? Would they f*ck me up?
Receptionist: I'm sorry, we...
Dinesh: Thank you so much. That's exactly the response I was looking for. I feel very confident I will not be getting into the launch today. Thank you for not helping. Don't let me through.
Emily Chang: In a fairy tale turned nightmare come to life, thousands of rats streamed onto the streets of San Francisco today.
Reporter 1: Pied Piper's phones broadcasting intense ultrasonic sounds that began repelling the rats.
Reporter 2: The streets of Seattle became the streets of Sea-rat-tle, and everyone was sleepless.
Reporter 3: Giants fans going home happy today as the Cubs go down swinging to the... Holy sh1t!
Conan O'Brien: They're calling it "Rat-mageddon". Yeah. Except in New York, where they're calling it Wednesday.
Richard: Effective immediately, I am shutting down Pied Piper, deleting its code repositories, and liquidating its remaining assets. All right.
Ron: That's our statement. We will not be taking any further...
Richard: Can I just say that I am just... truly, deeply sorry. Uh, this should never have been built. It is... technically flawed to its very core. And we should all remember that... forevermore. Sorry.
Ron: Obviously, Mr. Hendricks doesn't mean that in any legally binding or actionable way. Get a life, guys.
Richard: I think I might disappear for a bit. Maybe travel.
Jared: Yeah, I might travel, too. Where were you thinking?
Richard: It may help if, at least for the time being, you pretend to be mad at me.
Jared: Look, Richard, I was a world theater minor at Vassar, but that is one Javanese shadow play that I cannot perform.
Big Head: My name is, uh, Nelson Bighetti, and I'm the President of Stamford. Stanford.
(Cut to speech at convocation)
Big Head: You graduates have a lot of responsibility. Finishing the important work of movements such as... "pound Met double zero", and "title icks".
(Cut to interview)
Documentarian: So, I think I know, but-but why do they call you Big Head?
Big Head: Oh, yeah, just, you know, boys being boys. Making fun of my, my big old dome.
Documentarian: It's not because your last name is Big-hetti?
(Big Head thinks...)
Girl: President Bighetti?
Big Head: Whoa! How did... how'd you know my name?
Girl: I go to Stanford.
Big Head: Oh, no way! I work at Stanford. I'm the president.
Girl: Yeah, I know. What are you doing here?
Big Head: Um, I don't know. I think 'cause Jian-Yang died? I'm not sure.
Documentarian: Are you Erlich Bachman?
Jian-Yang: Yes. I'm Errich Bachman. I can show you ID. That's my face. I was a-fat, but now, I'm a-not fat.
Documentarian: I'm sorry, this is supposed to be you?
Richard: Regrets? Uh... No. No, I'm-I'm happy.
Documentarian: And you don't, you don't feel bad that you never got to... make the world a better place?
Richard: Uh... I think we did okay. I... actually could, um... I... I still have it. One copy of the... Pied Piper codebase. I have it on a thumb drive. I could show it to you. We won't... look into it, but, um... (Opens drawer) I just wanna show it to you. (Rummaging) It's just got a couple things on there that I think... I, honestly, this was like when we were coding the best we ever were, so some pieces of this thing are... sheer elegance. (Opens drawer) I wish I could show it to everybody because I wanna show it to my students. Not my class, but another... I know it was in the desk. (Rummaging) Okay, this is weird. (Banging) sh1t, okay. Where is it? (Rattling) It's or... it's orange. It's this big. It's just a thumb drive. So, is anyone... have any of your crew seen it or anything? I mean... right here. That's insa... (Rummaging) I had the... It's gotta be in the desk.
Documentarian: Is it a problem?
Richard: Um, no, not a problem. Um... It's just pretty fascinating. Although... if it isn't here... where is it?
"(How to Be a) Millionaire" by ABC (Karaoke song sung by Dinesh at Pied Pier party.)
"Who Let the Dogs Out" by Baha Men (Plays during the ATT/PiperNet promotional presentation. )
"Atomic Dog" by George Clinton (Plays during the ATT/PiperNet promotional presentation. )
"The Pied Piper" by Crispian St. Peters (Plays during the ATT/PiperNet promotional presentation when the app launches.)
Notes and Trivia
In the post-failure interview with Dinesh, you can see a framed copy of the selfie his fans took when he was recognized on the street.
HBO also released the "Ten Years Later: The Extended Pied Piper Documentary," separately. It contained many scenes which were seen in the final episode.
Unlike other episodes, the end credits roll over top of the final scene.
In the scene where the gang are visiting the hacker hostel, Jared refers to Big Head as "Big Head," but he corrects Jared by responding, "Nelson."
The "Documentarian" was played by Executive Producer Alec Berg.
TJ Miller did have a part in the final episode as his photo appeared on the ID Jian-Yang handed to the documentarian.
|Starring||Thomas Middleditch||Richard Hendricks|
|Starring||Josh Brener||Nelson 'Big Head' Bighetti|
|Starring||Martin Starr||Bertram Gilfoyle|
|Starring||Kumail Nanjiani||Dinesh Chugtai|
|Starring||Amanda Crew||Monica Hall|
|Starring||Zach Woods||Donald 'Jared' Dunn|
|Starring||Matt Ross||Gavin Belson|
|Starring||Suzanne Cryer||Laurie Bream|
|Starring||Jimmy O. Yang||Jian Yang|
|Starring||Chris Diamantopoulos||Russ Hanneman|
|Guest Starring||Alec Berg||Documentarian|
|Guest Starring||Emily Chang||Self|
|Guest Starring||Dick Costolo||Self|
|Guest Starring||Jim Cramer||Self|
|Guest Starring||Ben Feldman||Ron LaFlamme|
|Guest Starring||Craig Frank||Michael Eisenberg|
|Guest Starring||Bill Gates||Self|
|Guest Starring||Andre Iguodala||Self|
|Guest Starring||Conan O'Brien||Self|
|Guest Starring||Joel Swetow||Rod Morgenstern|
|Guest Starring||Kara Swisher||Self|
|Co-Starring||Cinda Adams||Pied Piper Employee #2|
|Co-Starring||Carmen Angelica||Screaming Woman|
|Co-Starring||Jaidyn-Bleau||Girl in Pied Piper Ad|
|Co-Starring||James Calixte||Young Man in Queue|
|Co-Starring||Rick Chambers||KCYD News Anchor|
|Co-Starring||John Colton||Lawrence Smith|
|Co-Starring||Samantha Cutaran||Pied Piper Employee|
|Co-Starring||Mariel de la Mora||Employee #6|
|Co-Starring||Julia Finkelstein||Stanford Student|
|Co-Starring||Sophia Grosso||Young Woman in Queue|
|Co-Starring||Drake Hansen||Boy in Pied Piper Ad|
|Co-Starring||Jay Jackson||KTUY3 Male News Anchor|
|Co-Starring||Davey Johnson||Stage Manager|
|Co-Starring||Yonas Kibreab||Boy in the Jungle|
|Co-Starring||Robert M. Lee||Pied Piper Employee|
|Co-Starring||Krissy Lu||Pied Piper Employee #1|
|Co-Starring||Toyin Moses||Pied Piper Employee #8|
|Co-Starring||Henry Phillips||John Stafford|
|Co-Starring||Lavelle Roby||Woman in Pied Piper Ad|
|Co-Starring||Jason Sims-Prewitt||Jim Gittman|
|Co-Starring||Krishna Smitha||Priyanka Singh|
|Co-Starring||Leanne Suter||KTUY3 Female News Anchor|
|Co-Starring||Alfred Rubin Thompson||Man in Pied Piper Ad #1|
|Co-Starring||Richard Wharton||Man in Pied Piper Ad #2|